09 January 2006

Loneliness

I am so lonely, feel so alone. And I feel funny writing this where just anyone can see, although I don't know that anyone cares. I don't know--feel like a discarded, forgotten, disconnected person. I want a thin, thin pounded gold threat connecting my heart to someone else's. Only the thread has been cut, or maybe it never even existed.

All I know is that I am so alone. And it's only two little dogs who care if I get out of bed tomorrow morning. Other than them, everyone else, the rest of the world will go on the same with or without me.

I don't want to be alone forever. I feel as though the world, everyone in it, has continued on and I've been left behind somehow. My mother, who is wonderful, would say that isn't true, that people do care and need me. But I feel adrift. I want an anchor.

D

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's been a difficult Monday, hasn't it?

My loneliness peaked a few years back, and it was discouraging. Now, thank God, I rarely feel it. Thoughts of a better future are cold comfort when you're suffering, I know, but things do change.

Perhaps you should read some PG Wodehouse next?

Pajama Dren said...

David,

Who are you? Do I know you? Do I want to know you?

D

Anonymous said...

Joy W sent me the link to your blog. I hope my presence isn't an intrusion. If you'd prefer to keep the discussion among close friends, just say the word.

Pajama Dren said...

David,

Not at all. Your post was just so kind in tone, it made me wonder. Sorry I sounded so caustic--didn't mean it that way. I'm always impressed with people who know Wodehouse.

Drennan