Fenway

Here's a new pic of my handsome, handsome baby boy. He's pleased that the Red Sox are in first place in their division; the Yankees are in last. And I feel the same way. You see, it's not so much that I like the Red Sox; it's more that I just HATE the Yankees.

Thursday Thirteen: Thirteen Books I've Never Read But Think I Should Read and Books I've Started But Never Finished But Think I Should Finish

This Thursday Thirteen is in honor of my having finished Bleak House. I decided to read it for many reasons, one of which is that it seems like something someone should read at least once in her life. Oddly, I never expected to actually enjoy it. But I did. Once I got into it, it was interesting and really quite readable. And I always thought I didn't like Dickens! Anyway, here's a list of books that I've either never read and think I should or books that I've started and never finished but think I should. I'm rather embarrassed to admit some of these!

1. Dante: The Divine Comedy. OK, I've started Dante, and I've read most of the Hell section of the poem. And I feel like I know what I need to know, in terms of cultural literacy, about the Divine Comedy--who Beatrice is, for example. But I'm a little embarrassed to have never read all of it. My brother tells me there's an edition with interesting illustrations, maybe by Durer or someone like that, that I should pick up.

2. Virginia Wolf: The Waves. This is one that I really want to read but somehow never get to. In part, I keep thinking, "Oh, I'll reread Dalloway and To the Lighthouse first and then read the Waves." But it never actually happens.

3. Dostoevsky: Crime and Punishment. This is another that I actually want to read. I guess that I've just had other reading priorities, you know?

4. Tolstoy: War and Peace. While we're on the subject of Russian writers, I thought I should fess up to never having read War and Peace. I do remember the Happy New Year Charlie Brown special in which he's assigned War and Peace.

5. The Mabinogion. Again, a volume that I've started several times but never finished. FIY, it's a collection of Welsh myth and folk tales.

6. Joseph Campbell: The Masks of God. So I think Campbell is interesting. And I've read The Hero With a Thousand Faces. And I've read part of the Masks of God. But I've never finished it.

7. Frazer: The Golden Bough. Again, this seems like something I should know more about.

8. Sontag: "Notes on 'Camp.'" This is another one of those that I actually want to read but never quite get to. And yes, I realize it's an essay in a list of books. But it seems to fit.

9. Solzhenitsyn. Ah yes, another Russian. I've started The Gulag Archipelago but never finished. Ditto The Oak and the Calf. But I actually enjoyed them and can't think why I put them down!

10. Thackeray. Again, anything by Thackeray would be an improvement. I'm certainly interested in Vanity Fair. Hey, I've seen the BBC adaptation, does that count?

11. Neil Gaiman: The Sandman Series. This is a graphic novel, for those who don't know. Again, something I started but never finished.

12. Simone de Beauvoir: The Second Sex. Again, I've read some, maybe the first 75 pages, and just didn't feel inspired to finish. Maybe it's because those first 75 pages basically depressed me.

13. Melville: Moby Dick. This is maybe my biggest shame as someone with an advanced degree in literature. I've started Moby Dick a couple of times. And again, I know what I'm supposed to know about it, i.e. "Call me Ishmael." But I've never finished the thing. It's like my own personal whale to conquer. Or maybe it's my personal "El Guapo." Did anyone get that reference?

It seems like The Old Man and the Sea deserves a sort of honorary place in the list. It's a book that I've read several times but wish I'd never read. I can never put my finger on why, but I just hate it.

C.S. Lewis once said that if after the first fifty pages he just isn't enjoying a book, he doesn't finish. And maybe that's a good policy. Maybe life is too short to read books we think we should read but don't bring pleasure. Or maybe I can accept that it's OK to simply not enjoy something that everyone else considers important literature.

Ian Rankin: Knots and Crosses

Ok, so earlier today I finished Ian Rankin's Knots and Crosses. It is the first of his Inspector Rebus novels, set in Scotland. And it was a good read. It was reasonably well written, and the mystery unfolded in an interesting way. But what I think I liked best about it was that while it was a murder mystery, it was really a psychological novel about Rebus. And that's what really appeals to me in this genre anyway; I like mysteries that have interesting, complex, conflicted detective characters. And maybe that's why I like House too. But Rebus is this intelligent, flawed, thoughtful, damaged person, as are so many of us. And he talks about how he's a Christian, but he doesn't really live in the way that he thinks he should. And he prays, but when he's really angry with God, he doesn't want to pray. But when things are tense, he prays anyway. And it strikes me that there's something so universal about it all. I mean, we have standards or values or beliefs, whether we are Christians or not, and we think we should live according to these, and maybe we should. But we find, like Sir Gawain, that sometimes our values come into conflict. And we find that some days we just can't do it. I would offer that those are the days when we really should pray. But life just isn't simple. For Miss Marple, life is simple, right? I mean, all the evil in the world is just like the petty evil in St. Mary Mead. And there's some truth to that. Humans are humans regardless of geography, and they perpetrate the same evils, at least to some degree. But evil, murder, mysteries never end simply and cleanly, with all the loose ends tied up, as they seem to for Miss Marple. Life is messy. And even when we solve the mystery, or right the wrong, or stand up for what we believe in, things are still difficult. Even when Rebus reaches the end of the novel, he's so scarred that life is going to be difficult and painful and even full of loss, no matter that another murderer has been captured. This, to my way of thinking, is like life. And this is the kind of mystery that I like: one with a flawed detective who tries to be moral as best he can, but one who still endures the pains along with the joys of life, after the bad guy is put behind bars. This is the life that we all live.

The Crave Reader

OK, you seriously have to check this out. It's kinda amazing: http://automobiles.honda.com/cr-v/crave/

On Blogging

Ok, so I wish that I had brilliant academic stuff to blog about. Or that I had wonderful intellectual stuff to say. Or that I could blog about politics or literature or theology or something that would indicate that I do have an actual brain in my head and that I'm not completely superficial and self-absorbed. And the truth is that I do think about things (you know, smart stuff, ideas, books, whatever) besides crafts and food and depression. But those more serious things don't quite seem to make their way into this blog. So what I'm trying to get at is this--maybe if I weren't afraid, I'd blog about those kinds of things and really put my ideas and convictions out there. I suppose it's easier to hide behind interests connected to the material world.

Thursday Thirteen: Thirteen Things I'd Do If I Weren't Afraid

Ok, so I've decided that when I don't have some brilliant concept for the Thursday Thirteen, I'd move through Segalove and Velick's List Your Self. I can't remember how I stumbled onto this gem. But here's the idea: one will gain insight of some sort by listing this and that about herself. That was probably obvious. Oh, well. So here we go.

Thirteen Things I'd Do If I Weren't Afraid

1. I'd write a long, long post for all the world to see that describes the evils of my former husband. I don't know why I feel the urge to do this. And I can't imagine that it would be productive on any level. But there it is.

2. Make new friends.

3. Telephone friends I've allowed to fall by the wayside.

4. Become a bone marrow doner.

5. Take art classes at the college.

6. Organize the mess in my basement.

7. Write a novel.

8. Write poetry.

9. Shave my head.

10. E-mail Dan Abrams to say that I think he's pretty fly for a white guy.

11. Take math classes at the college.

12. Admit that I really enjoy reading and watching materials intended for "tweens."

13. Go to church regularly.

Now that I've written these all out, it seems like I've maybe done this topic for a "thirteen" before. Ah well. I think it's good to ask ourselves what we'd do, really do, if we weren't afraid. And OK, I know that some of these are pretty trivial. But some aren't. Oh, a final thought: if I weren't afraid, I'd start sentences with conjunctions and end with prepositions. OK, I admit to doing that already.

Altered Dominos--Early Efforts

Thanks to my much beloved pal Zee, I've been experimenting with altered domino art. Here are some samples. I realize that this isn't the best photo in the world, but you get the idea. I love the two with the vintage photos of children with dogs. The one with the two pink hearts isn't as interesting. The one with multi hearts is simply stamped using dye ink, then colored with permanent marker, then set with a heat tool. The fairy is prettier in "real life." It's embossed using a glittery medium. So these are kinda basic, but it's fun to experiment with different techniques. Pigment ink, by the way, doesn't work, unless used with embossing powder. I'm planning to make these into magnets. But there really are many things one could do with altered dominos.

Thursday Thirteen: Songs I LOVE, Part Deux

1. "All I Want is You"--U2. "Stuck in a Moment" is another fav.

2. "Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show"--Neil Diamond. As we all know, "there are two types of people in this world: those who like Neil Diamond and those who don't." I also like "Sweet Caroline," of course and "Cracklin' Rosie."

3. "I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues"--Elton John

4. "Such Great Heights"--Iron and Wine

5. "Beautiful"--James Blunt

6. "Ballad of Jack and Diane"--John Mellencamp

7. "The Sweater Song"--Weezer

8. "Here Comes Your Man"--Pixies. "Gigantic" and "La la Love You" are pretty good too.

9. "Mah na, mah na" as performed on The Muppets. I think the Muppets are grand.

10. In a similar vein: "Rainbow Connection"--performed by Kermit the Frog, of course.

11. "Streets of Bakersfield"--Dwight Yokam and Buck Owens.

12. "I Been Everywhere"--Johnny Cash

13. "One Week"--The Barenaked Ladies. OK, I have to admit that I think of the Barenaked Ladies as Canadian wannabe TMBG. But they're still lots of fun.

Today was one of those days during which everything seems to be about five times more difficult than it really needs to be, know what I mean? And I guess I'm just doing a quick post to decompress or whatever before I try to relax and settle in for the evening. I did get done the grading that I really needed to do, so that's a good thing. And boy did I read some bad stuff, let me tell you. But isn't that always the way of it? I don't know if I should admit this or not, but I had a beer as I was grading. It felt like I somehow needed the beer just to get through, you know? So I was just telling my mom this: when you go to the grocery store and see a sampler pack of this or that, well, I just have a hard time resisting those sampler packs of whatever. I really, really like the idea of trying out a little of this and a little of that and deciding what I like best. And variety packs of stuff is especially appealing to me if it's packaged in an organized, or just a cute, way. So on Saturday, I went to the grocery store and felt like I'd hit the mother load because they had a sampler pack of. . .wait for it. . .Mexican beers! Oh what fun. And no Corona--whew! However, I have to admit that my fav Mexican beer is Negra Modelo, which was not included. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen that in VT. *sigh* One of the things I miss most about CA is Mexican food. I'm not exaggerating. Mexican food and Trader Joe's. Well, maybe someday I'll be living on the West Coast again, who knows? I miss it lately. I mean, I know that most people would say that Bakersfield is no great shakes, and maybe that's true. But the bottom line is that it still feels like home. Oh, and it's a dry heat.

Thursday Thirteen, Special Tuesday Edition: Thirteen Songs I Find Meaningful

OK, here's a list (in no particular order) of songs that, for one reason or another, I find particularly meaningful. I do realize that some of these are silly, some cheezy, and some have really do redeeming value whatsoever.

1. "Birdhouse in Your Soul"--They Might be Giants. OK, I LOVE this song, and if you call my cell phone right now, you'll hear it instead of a ring. TMBG are just so smart and funny and hip and wonderful, to my way of thinking. And they make me think of college and Scott and Cort and Doug and Joy and even Cory, in a bitter-sweet way. And here's a little known fact about me: I love to soak in a bubble bath and sing TMBG at the top of my lungs.

2. "Sunday Morning Coming Down"--written by Chris Kristofferson and preformed by Johnny Cash.

3. "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing"--this has always, always since childhood been one of my favorite hymns.

4. "Angel"--Aerosmith. This is quite possibly the cheeziest pop song ever written. And I recognize that musically it's pretty awful. But I love it anyway. I'm kinda embarrassed about how many Aerosmith lyrics I actually know!

5. "Both Sides Now"--Joni Mitchell. I've learned the hard way that one shouldn't listen to Joni Mitchell when depressed. But it seems so natural to do so.

6. "Just As I Am"--Another favorite hymn. Willie Nelson does a version on guitar that's wonderful. I really love Willie singing gospel. His "May the Circle be Unbroken" and "Where the Soul Never Dies" are just wonderful.

7. "God Only Knows"--The Beach Boys. According to my brother, this is one of Paul McCartney's favorite love songs. I have to confess that I think the Beach Boys are just loads of fun.

8. "Spirit in the Sky"--Norman Greenbaum. What's not to like. Seriously, when I go to meet my Maker, I want a wake with lots of beer and this song playing on a continuous loop.

9. "Standing Outside the Fire"--Garth Brooks. I have a theory that there's a Garth Brooks song for every occasion and every personality type.

10. "Fast as You"--Dwight Yokam.

11. "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring"--J.S. Bach.

12. "Countin' Flowers on the Wall"--The Statler Brothers.

13. "In My Life"--The Beatles. This may be my all-time favorite song ever. I just love it, always have.

OK, to keep it to 13, I had to cut some songs that I really love, like Jewel's "Jupiter" and a number of Tom Petty songs. I also cut Merle Haggard, which is kinda sad.

Exhaustion

I am exhausted, in most every sense of the word. I'm trying to eat lunch, because I know I need to eat, but nothing sounds good. I spent most of the morning grading papers on Shakespeare and Mary Shelley and all kinds of other things; most were mediocre, at best. I've been having "issues" with sleep for the past few weeks (not that that's anything new), and I think that sleep deprivation is certainly part of my problem. Anyway, when I get like this, I just feel icky, you know? It's like I feel tired and slightly achy physically. And intellectually, I feel this general ennui. And I can't seem to do much of anything, although I did get tons of grading done this morning. That counts for something, right? All I really want to do is to sit very, very still and watch really mindless TV or Law and Order. And I start to feel generally frustrated with my appearance and my life and my job and my accomplishments. I don't know--maybe it's just that it's the end of the semester and I have all this work to do when what I really need is a break. When I get like this, I tend to just focus on the negative, which of course isn't a good thing. I don't know--I'm going to stop now and either get actual work done or go home and try to relax.

Bleak House, Part II

I've now read about half of Dickens's Bleak House. And I'm enjoying it, but I'm also remembering why it is that I tend to avoid Dickens. First, it seems to me that Dickens is truly masterful in the way that he writes his characters. Some are flat; many are round; but they tend to be interesting, engaging kinds of characters. The problem I'm having, at the moment, is keeping them all straight. He'll introduce a character, develop her a bit, and then let her fall away. And this is fine; this happens with minor characters. Sometimes, they are there to advance the plot or the theme in some way, and when they've served their purpose, they leave the scene. But Dickens will pull them back in, like 150 pages later. In the intervening 150 pages he may have introduced like 15 more characters, and it's becoming really difficult for me to remember who's who and why he's important and that kind of thing. Am I really this inept as a reader? Dickens makes me doubt myself; I mean, I'm supposed to be qualified to professionally decipher texts, right? But with this novel, I keep losing track. The other thing about Bleak House is this: there's lots of characters who seem to be there to provide some sort of satire or social commentary. For example, early on we are introduced to Mrs. Jellyby, whose family is falling apart as she devotes all her time and energy to some sort of missionary project in Africa. She ruins her family financially; she totally neglects her children in just about every way possible; and her home is really dirty. She, of course, thinks she's really doing something wonderful, however, by devoting all her energy and resources to this project. OK, so I get the point that she's a hypocrite; I get that "charity begins in the home." But it's like we can't just have the example and move on; Dickens brings her (and even a whole cast of similar characters) up over and over and over. And it seems so very heavy handed after a while.

But the point is, as far as I'm concerned, I'm reading Dickens. I'm reading Bleak House. And really, in spite of the afore mentioned criticisms, I'm enjoying it immensely. So maybe this is like a new leaf for me as a reader--maybe I can enjoy the 19th century, triple decker novel. Or maybe this is just a fluke.

Update 1.1

Oh, and I've cut back on the so-called reality TV. This is a good thing.

Update 1.0

I just spoke with C. on the phone. She said something like, "I checked your blog over the weekend, but it didn't look like you had any new posts." So I decided that I really should post something, at least for the sake of keeping up with things. Here's a quick review of what's been going on with me. Fenway is about 4 1/2 months old, and he's growing so quickly. It's hard to believe. But he's cute and fun and I wouldn't trade him for anything. Over the weekend, I spent a lot of time doing nothing, which was lovely and perfect and just what I needed. I watched Across the Universe on Saturday night. A student had lent me her DVD of it. I liked it but didn't love it. In fact, there was some of it that just seemed to forced or contrived or something. When I mentioned some of this to said student, as I returned her DVD, she actually gave a really sophisticated, insightful analysis of why she thought it worked, and I was somehow so inspired and thankful that someone, some student of mine, is actually using her mind and thinking about the world and thinking about text as text and as a kind of cultural artifact, and that was really encouraging. (Ok, I realize that my sentence structure is annoying and even incorrect at some points above. One occupational hazard is that I think too much about my writing and why I'm saying what I'm saying in the way I'm saying it and so on. Recently, I realized *duh* that I go around all day, every day thinking about words--how they sound, what they mean, which I like, which I don't. I'm word obsessed!)

Also, I have stared some fun BBC series on DVD. I've been watching Hetty Wainthrop Investigates, which stars the woman who plays Hyacinth in Keeping Up Appearances. It's loads of fun. I really, really love murder mysteries, especially British ones. And the Hetty Wainthrop series isn't great in terms of the mysteries themselves, but the characters are loads of fun, and that's what I enjoy about detective fiction anyway. I've also started, from the beginning, The Midsomer Murders. That's great too. The mysteries are a bit more complex, but Inspector Barnaby is a great character--he's no Dagleish or even an Inspector Lynley, but he's still interesting. The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that the murder mystery, more than any other popular genre, really speaks to what defines human nature, what it means to live in this world. And that's exciting, somehow.

Oh, and I'm still working through Bleak House. I'm reading it in part because it seems like something I should do at least once in my life, but also in part because scholars and the like say that it contributes to the development of detective fiction as a genre. And that's clearly interesting to me. This is something that I think I want to pursue academically. One of my many and varied academic interests is in "medievalism," that is the ways that later eras recycle medieval themes, motifs, and the like. And I'm especially interested in the ways that medievalism plays into issues surrounding cultural identity and the like. Anyway, my tentative hypothesis is this: the character of the detective is a sort of reincarnation of the Arthurian knight. This is pretty interesting, I think. And it's something that I want to pursue and at least work on some sort of conference paper on. I also think (and this is connected to the above) that there is something about Christianity that allows for the detective character, but I'm still working this out. I'd argue that at the very least the sort of Christian ethos that informs the Arthurian knight is also at work in the serial detective novel. And really, detective novels do tend to be serial--this seems to mirror in some ways the episodic nature of the medieval romance. OK, if I've thoroughly bored you, that's OK. But this is just something that, at the moment, is super exciting to me.

So that's what's been going on with me.