More Maverick Feminism--This is especially for Dolce Carina, Joybug, but also for all the strong women I love

Coincidentally, providentially, what's the word? In the past two days I've talked to Carina and Joybug on the phone, and something strikes me:

When we were younger, we thought that finding the right man would make us happy. We wanted to meet someone, date, fall in love, get married, and then things would be fine. We wouldn't be lonely; we'd be fulfilled. We wanted someone to wake up next to; we wanted someone to share our lives with. And all that is fine and good.

Yet what I realize now, maybe should have realized long ago, is that finding the right man, as wonderful as that may be, isn't the answer to all our problems, and we still need each other. And I find as I get older that I select my girlfriends more carefully than I used to and that I cherish and nourish my relationships with my girlfriends more than I used to.

We love men and we want men, and for better or worse, we marry men because they complement us. They are different from us, and maybe they fill in our weaknesses. But then, in a silly, hysterical way, we get annoyed when they don't respond to us, to our emotions, the way that women do. And this is why, I think, that for all of you, your husbands come first, but we still need and want each other. I know that whatever maddening or terrifying or frustrating things happens, I can call Carina, and she will react exactly the way I want her to. She sees things my way, and she doesn't ask me to calm down and be reasonable, and she doesn't try to solve the problem. She just shares my annoyance or indignation or whatever it is I feel. And I love her for that.

Let's face it: men give us something we need. Lately, when I feel really, really crappy, I call my dad (who is absolutely wonderful), and he reminds me that I'm not crappy and that my life isn't crappy, no matter how I happen to feel. When I've been emotionally involved with men, they do that rational, stabilizing thing for me. And that's great.

But sometimes, I have come to realize, that I just want my girlfriends. And I love each of you, and I value knowing that no matter how much time has passed since our last phone call, I can call Carina or Joybug or Cortney, and we simply pick up where we left off. And I value knowing that each of you knows how crazy I can be, but you love me anyway.

My goal is to work on nurturing my relationships with each of you.

So, here's to sisterhood! (Was that cheezy? Even if it was, you understand.)

The Maverick Feminist