On NOT Reading What I "Should" Be Reading

There are all these things I think I should be reading (or rereading) because I think they would be emotionally or spiritually or psychologically nourishing for me, but I am just avoiding them. And I don't know why. I know that there's a part of me that somehow needs to reread C.S. Lewis's Till We Have Faces, his most brilliant piece of fiction, yet I'm going to log off and watch a Bette Davis movie instead. Why am I doing this? Why am I immersing myself in a Joyce Carol Oates novel that I no longer even enjoy instead of reading the thing that I know will speak to my soul? Is it simply that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak? I don't think it's that simple. I think I'm avoiding the reading that could cause emotional discomfort, eventhough I believe that from such discomfort comes growth and renewal. Oh well, I think that I'll think about it tomorrow, maybe compile a list of books that I think will be good for me emotionally and spiritually right now. I'm open to suggestions, of course. Carina, I do have the new Didion, but I'm avoiding it for the same reasons. Yes, well tomorrow, I'll get my act together. I'll plan it all out. I'll list what it is that I think would benefit me to read. Shall I post my list here? If I do, then each of you will somehow, even if it's internally, hold me accountable, so there's a risk there.

In fact, one of my larger projects for tomorrow is to put together a schedule of sorts. With the new semester starting, I want to decide what's important for me to do each day or with regualrity--reading my Bible, yoga, meditation, eating healthy stuff--and then get going on Monday with it all. It's so hard. More tomorrow.

Love and Happiness,

Drennan