101 Things in 1,001 Days

I'm thinking about signing on for the 101 things in 1,001 days project.   I always feel like I'm not getting "enough" done, and now that I type it, I realize that the "enough" is kinda vague.  But that's the point.  I mean, with the 101 "things" to accomplish (note my overuse of the air quotes here), you are supposed to pick specific, concrete, measurable tasks to accomplish.  Like "finish Thackeray's Vanity Fair." Or "sew five new purses, using patterns I already own." Or "refrain from purchasing cosmetics for six months."  This last would be a hard one for me, which I'm kinda embarrassed to admit.  But the point is, I'd come up with a list of specific and sometimes seemingly insignificant things that I actually would be able to accomplish.  I'm always, as you know, a big one for writing down goals and list of things, both short- and long-term, that I want to accomplish.  At the very least, the process of writing out goals helps me to think through my values and my ambitions and what I really, really want, you know?  Even if I don't achieve everything on the list, just writing the list is its own reward in some ways.  (I'm sick as I'm typing this, so let's use that as an excuse if I'm totally rambling!)  And even if I don't achieve everything on the list, I'm sure that I'll achieve some things that I wouldn't have if the list weren't there, you know?

On a related note, I've been thinking about my job and living in Vermont and why I stay and why I do what I do.  And I have realized that one reason I value my job and one reason I probably will stay long term is that this particular job allows me in so many ways to do what I want to do with my time and with my life.  And that's invaluable, is it not?  I mean, I don't adore every, single thing I do at work, day in and day out, but I do enjoy the teaching.  I enjoy prepping and planning classes, which so often means rereading works that I love.  I enjoy the discussions about literature and writing.  I enjoy interacting with my students.  I generally hate all the meetings I have to attend each week, but I feel so very blessed in having wonderful colleagues, especailly those in my department.  But the kind of work I do allows me all kinds of freedoms that I wouldn't have in many other jobs.  My hours are, for example, somewhat flexible:  when I have class, I need to be there, but otherwise, I can shape my schedule the way I want, week to week.  In fact, I can even ususally teach during the time slots that I desire.  As compared to many, many other careers, I get lots of time off work.  Some of the time I'm not teaching, I do need to use for work related matters.  But still, as compared to much of the world, I have a lot of time off.  And yet, I always feel like I'm not quite using this time very well:  I never seem to get to the things I really want to do.  I never sew or write or read or cook enough, and I spend way too much time watching crap on DVD and killing time online.  I want to find a way to work beyond some of this.  I can't quite figure out if it's because I'm lazy or depressed or unmotivated or stupid or just unrealistic.  But it bothers me that I don't seem to make time for things that bring me pleasure and filfillment, opting instead for activities that allow me to zone out and just not engage with the world around me.  I should add that I think that sometimes zoning out is fine and maybe even important.  But that's not what I mean.  I mean, that I just think I could be spending my free time in more profitable, fulfilling ways. 

I'm going to stop now, because I'm feeling worse, and I don't know what I mean any more.