Goals

That last post about why I feel the need to post my summer reading has gotten me thinking more generally about goals for the summer. And I guess that this is as good a place as any to start to hash out some of that. I mean, there's a lot I'd like to get done over the summer (yoga, writing, sewing, painting my bedroom, lose weight), but it seems overwhelming just thinking about it, you know? And the problem (or a problem, anyway) that I tend to have is that I love, love, love setting goals, and I tend to set these ridiculously high, unrealistic goals, and then when I don't meet every single goal down to the last detail, I feel like a total failure. Please don't tell me how silly and unhealthy this sort of perfectionist thinking is--I'm well aware of it. Logically, I do see the problem here. This very tendency has recently made me a bit hesitant to set concrete goals of any sort. However, I always feel like if I have no goals, I won't make any sort of progress at all towards anything. At this juncture, I'm asking myself why I can't be OK with just "being," why I have to focus on the "becoming." I don't know how to answer those questions.

So it seems that I have a love/hate relationship with goals. On the one hand, I need them to feel OK about myself. But on the other hand, they clearly make me feel not OK about myself. Arrgh! Why does this have to be difficult? It sounds like I need a good therapist, doesn't it? Oh wait, the last therapist told me to dump all my friends because you all only valued me for my appearance, not for who I am on the inside. I don't know why, but this statement is especially ridiculous, IMO. I mean really--I'm not quite cute enough for that to be my only source of social currency. Oi.

So now that I've written about goals, I don't know where to go from here. Do I make a list of goals? Do I not? Fenway is especially lovey today--do I spend the day cuddling with him?