A New Look

You may or may not notice that I've a new look (which is really a comfortable, old look) for my blog. This is indicative, I think, of my desire for a new "look" for myself. The past six months or so, I've just suddenly felt so frumpy! And I can't quite figure out why I feel so frumpy (is it because I'm feeling so chunky? because the clothes I like don't fit the way they used to?), but I do. I mean, I'm no big fashionista or anything. But I used to do my hair and put on funky eyeshadow and wear fun, funky clothes, and I felt good about myself, about how I looked. I mean, I felt like I had this fun, funky, interesting, sometimes cute look. And I felt good about myself. And that has just somehow fallen by the wayside. Is this some weird result of depression? Or am I just growing up and becoming less superficial? I don't think that's it, because I still want to feel like I look cute and fun. Evidence (and Zee can testify), at least one morning a week, I do march into work and say, "Hey, look at my fun socks," to at least one person. And I guess that I want to get to that place where I'm having fun with my appearance and being creative with my appearance and feel like I look cute--here I concede that what I consider cute others may consider ridiculous, stripey knee socks, for instance. And that's Ok--I mean if most of the rest of you think it's silly or just don't get it or whatever, that's fine. But I still want to feel like I'm being creative in this way and like I'm being true to my own sense of style. And that's just not happening lately.

So what's the solution to all this? I can't figure it out. Is it just as simple as losing weight? Or is there more to it? Or is it as simple as getting a new hair cut and actually styling it before going to work in the morning? Or is it as simple as buying a few really basic but wonderfully fitting wardrobe items, you know, basic things that I can wear all the time and that make me feel really good when I put them on? I don't know what the solution is, and I suspect that it's not anything terribly simple. Maybe it's just that I'm slowly but surely secumbing to being a Vermonter--yikes! I hope that's not it. I just can't get a handle on this, and it's making me feel more discouraged.