a president, a King
13 years ago
09 July 2007
Emotional "Funk"
So, try as I might, and believe me, I'm trying everything I know, I can't seem to pull myself out of whatever emotional funk I'm in at the moment. And I feel frustrated because I've exhausted nearly all the normal avenues that I perceive to combat depression and anxiety and all that. It's all somehow exhausting. Just getting through the day feels like about all I can handle with on most days. I realize that I'm getting all broken-record and stuff. I guess I just keep blogging, even when I don't have much to say, because it's a way to feel slightly less isolated. But it's hard. Anyway, I'm still here and still trying.
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2 comments:
hey d. just wanted to remind you we're still here too...
remember those 11s we were blogging about way back when? anyhow, i think that's why they say depression/anxiety is a spiral rather than a plummet or a nice little rolley-coaster ride. easy to go down, damn difficult to get up. and i know we've talked about this--but i think part of what causes so much anxiety is just the self-awareness. not everyone is equipped with an extremely sensitive sense of themselves--just my closest freinds ;)--which makes for a beautiful, enlightened self but also one prone to see all of the self's shortcomings and unmet possibilities. it seems this last part is what has you feeling so funky--an onging sense of what you could do and what you should do and what you're not doing.
perhaps i've spent too much time on the couch myself ;)
Keep blogging. At least I think that will be something rather than the nothing which will accrue if you don't. Does that make sense? Probably not.
At least you are conscious of the process. Sometimes it's like standing outside yourself -- being the particpant observer. I figure if I sold myself popcorn, I could probably be rather entertained by my insanities.
Meanwhile, find a way to get through HP7 and let's talk.
Love you!
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