Year of the Life Makeover

So, as many of you know, Saturday was my 32nd birthday! And, because it's what I really believe in, I have every intention of celebrating for at least a week. Actually, seriously, I believe that on our birthdays, instead of expecting cards and presents and such from others, we all ought to call our mothers and thank them for giving birth to us.

But I have decided that, for so many reasons, this year of my life, my thirty-third year, will be the year of the "Live Makeover." I acknowledge that I have a lot of work to do on myself. I know that it's unhealthy, probably even sinful, but I tend to be very discontent. And that's something I want to change. And so with the help of Cheryl Richardson (see www.cherylrichardson.com) and her books, I'm prepared to do the work and commit to making this next year a year in which I can become a better version of me, a more productive version of me, a contented version of me. Think of it as "Drennan 2.0." Maybe it would really be more accurate to say "Drennan 3.0." You see, I think the original (dare I say "beta"?) version of me was probably birth to age 20 or so. And then Cory happened, and all the negative but untrue things I suspected about myself were suddenly, seemingly irrevocably reinforced. Hence, Drennan 2.0. And while I've grown and healed and all that, I know that there's still all kinds of residual doubt and anxiety and pain. And I think that I deserve to move beyond that. I deserve to devote my time and my life to the things I truly, truly believe in. And I think that, as much as any of us deserves happiness, I do. I certainly want contentment anyway.

And through a series of events that some would call synchronicity, I've stumbled upon the whole "life coach" approach to things. Richardson explains that therapy explores the trauma and hurt in our past. And while this approach is valid, she says, most people want and need to focus on the present and the future. We want skills for building the lives and selves we deserve. And so here I go: I'm allowing Richardson, through her books, to be my new life coach. And this is the year of the Life Makeover.

I was inspired, in part, by the book Julie and Julia, in which Julie someone-or-another decides that to commerate her 30th birthday, she'll spend the year cooking through Julia Child's The Art of French Cooking. I don't feel quite that ambitious, but I do want to do what I know will work for myself. And I want to commit to making this a year in which I'll take really good care of myself. Richardson calls it "extreme self care." The more I meditate on it, the more it seems to make sense that I need to care for myself in order to have energy to give to others.

Anyhow, I've decided that, at least for now, I'm going to really work through Richardson's Life Makeovers, in which she gives a weekly suggestion for recreating one's self and one's life. The task for this week is to simply start keeping a journal--no great feat for me! I do have to admit, however, that I'd like to start journalling more regularly. But it really does feel like a healthy way to start. I've also decided that I'm going to give myself the gift of spending Thursday afternoons at the Back Home Again (see www.backhomeagaincafe.com). I think I can spend a little time grading, time journalling, and time reading and thinking about this whole Life Makeover project. The Back Home Again is really my favorite establishment in town, and it's super relaxing to hang out there. I feel like I need this for my own sanity. So to sum it up, here are my goals, for now anyway, to contribute to this larger project.

Because I deserve it and because I want to, I commit to
1. Richardson's program of the Life Makeover
2. Spending Thursday afternoons at the Back Home Again for work, reflection, planning, and relaxation
3. Getting up 30 minutes early in order to have a half-hour of journalling in the morning.

So I know that to some it seems odd that I choose to post all this publicly. I actually find it empowering to be so open with these things. But I also figure that I'm more likely to actually follow through if I've made this open, public commitment. It's like having accountability of some sort. If you really care about me, ask me periodically how the whole Life Makeover is going. There's more to say--more goals I have for the year, more reflection--and I'll keep posting.

I want to close with this poem from Gerard Manly Hopkins who, along with John Donne, is probably my favorite poet:

Pied Beauty

GLORY be to God for dappled things— For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow; For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim; Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches’ wings; Landscape plotted and pieced—fold, fallow, and plough; 5 And áll trádes, their gear and tackle and trim. All things counter, original, spare, strange; Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?) With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim; He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change: 10 Praise him.