Ok, I am still really sick. Most of you know this because I've e-mailed or called to tell you just how miserable I am. What I've been reminded of during this bout with a rather unpleasant virus is that I'm really bad at being sick. No kidding! I quickly get frustrated and irritable at not being able to do all the things I think need to be done. I really don't know what I'd do if I had some really debilitating, chronic illness. Seriously. I haven't been able to live at the pace to which I am accustomed for 12 days now (yes, I'm counting), and it's really getting to me. Part of me feels like I really need to practice yoga, and I just feel like I can't. I can barely walk up a flight of stairs without having to sit down and rest afterwards. I'm not exaggerating. And I haven't been writing, not anything. That always seems to lead to this weird, disconnected mental and emotional state for me. And that's what I'm feeling--disconnected--in addition to the physical discomfort. For the past week or so, I feel like I've lost myself somehow. I know that sounds really silly. I know that part of the difficulty is that while I was sick my family was visiting from out of town, and I tried to keep up with them as best I could. And I know that that probably just wore me down even further. And I haven't been taking very good care of myself. I haven't been eating very well, for example. I can barely make myself a cup of tea, much less dinner. I know I'm just complaining. But even with being sick, I want to get back on track somehow, and I just don't know if I can. I have so little engergy. Even the smallest task makes me unduly exhausted. (BTW, the doctor did test me for mono, and I was negative. I live in fear of catching mono and being out of everything for two months.) I sorta want to get things done and work and read and be more introspective, all the things that make me, me and make me feel balanced. But all I feel I can handle is sitting on the couch for a couple of hours, then taking a nap. This sort of thing makes me thankful for good health.