The Crave Reader

OK, you seriously have to check this out. It's kinda amazing: http://automobiles.honda.com/cr-v/crave/

On Blogging

Ok, so I wish that I had brilliant academic stuff to blog about. Or that I had wonderful intellectual stuff to say. Or that I could blog about politics or literature or theology or something that would indicate that I do have an actual brain in my head and that I'm not completely superficial and self-absorbed. And the truth is that I do think about things (you know, smart stuff, ideas, books, whatever) besides crafts and food and depression. But those more serious things don't quite seem to make their way into this blog. So what I'm trying to get at is this--maybe if I weren't afraid, I'd blog about those kinds of things and really put my ideas and convictions out there. I suppose it's easier to hide behind interests connected to the material world.

Thursday Thirteen: Thirteen Things I'd Do If I Weren't Afraid

Ok, so I've decided that when I don't have some brilliant concept for the Thursday Thirteen, I'd move through Segalove and Velick's List Your Self. I can't remember how I stumbled onto this gem. But here's the idea: one will gain insight of some sort by listing this and that about herself. That was probably obvious. Oh, well. So here we go.

Thirteen Things I'd Do If I Weren't Afraid

1. I'd write a long, long post for all the world to see that describes the evils of my former husband. I don't know why I feel the urge to do this. And I can't imagine that it would be productive on any level. But there it is.

2. Make new friends.

3. Telephone friends I've allowed to fall by the wayside.

4. Become a bone marrow doner.

5. Take art classes at the college.

6. Organize the mess in my basement.

7. Write a novel.

8. Write poetry.

9. Shave my head.

10. E-mail Dan Abrams to say that I think he's pretty fly for a white guy.

11. Take math classes at the college.

12. Admit that I really enjoy reading and watching materials intended for "tweens."

13. Go to church regularly.

Now that I've written these all out, it seems like I've maybe done this topic for a "thirteen" before. Ah well. I think it's good to ask ourselves what we'd do, really do, if we weren't afraid. And OK, I know that some of these are pretty trivial. But some aren't. Oh, a final thought: if I weren't afraid, I'd start sentences with conjunctions and end with prepositions. OK, I admit to doing that already.

Altered Dominos--Early Efforts

Thanks to my much beloved pal Zee, I've been experimenting with altered domino art. Here are some samples. I realize that this isn't the best photo in the world, but you get the idea. I love the two with the vintage photos of children with dogs. The one with the two pink hearts isn't as interesting. The one with multi hearts is simply stamped using dye ink, then colored with permanent marker, then set with a heat tool. The fairy is prettier in "real life." It's embossed using a glittery medium. So these are kinda basic, but it's fun to experiment with different techniques. Pigment ink, by the way, doesn't work, unless used with embossing powder. I'm planning to make these into magnets. But there really are many things one could do with altered dominos.

Thursday Thirteen: Songs I LOVE, Part Deux

1. "All I Want is You"--U2. "Stuck in a Moment" is another fav.

2. "Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show"--Neil Diamond. As we all know, "there are two types of people in this world: those who like Neil Diamond and those who don't." I also like "Sweet Caroline," of course and "Cracklin' Rosie."

3. "I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues"--Elton John

4. "Such Great Heights"--Iron and Wine

5. "Beautiful"--James Blunt

6. "Ballad of Jack and Diane"--John Mellencamp

7. "The Sweater Song"--Weezer

8. "Here Comes Your Man"--Pixies. "Gigantic" and "La la Love You" are pretty good too.

9. "Mah na, mah na" as performed on The Muppets. I think the Muppets are grand.

10. In a similar vein: "Rainbow Connection"--performed by Kermit the Frog, of course.

11. "Streets of Bakersfield"--Dwight Yokam and Buck Owens.

12. "I Been Everywhere"--Johnny Cash

13. "One Week"--The Barenaked Ladies. OK, I have to admit that I think of the Barenaked Ladies as Canadian wannabe TMBG. But they're still lots of fun.

Today was one of those days during which everything seems to be about five times more difficult than it really needs to be, know what I mean? And I guess I'm just doing a quick post to decompress or whatever before I try to relax and settle in for the evening. I did get done the grading that I really needed to do, so that's a good thing. And boy did I read some bad stuff, let me tell you. But isn't that always the way of it? I don't know if I should admit this or not, but I had a beer as I was grading. It felt like I somehow needed the beer just to get through, you know? So I was just telling my mom this: when you go to the grocery store and see a sampler pack of this or that, well, I just have a hard time resisting those sampler packs of whatever. I really, really like the idea of trying out a little of this and a little of that and deciding what I like best. And variety packs of stuff is especially appealing to me if it's packaged in an organized, or just a cute, way. So on Saturday, I went to the grocery store and felt like I'd hit the mother load because they had a sampler pack of. . .wait for it. . .Mexican beers! Oh what fun. And no Corona--whew! However, I have to admit that my fav Mexican beer is Negra Modelo, which was not included. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen that in VT. *sigh* One of the things I miss most about CA is Mexican food. I'm not exaggerating. Mexican food and Trader Joe's. Well, maybe someday I'll be living on the West Coast again, who knows? I miss it lately. I mean, I know that most people would say that Bakersfield is no great shakes, and maybe that's true. But the bottom line is that it still feels like home. Oh, and it's a dry heat.

Thursday Thirteen, Special Tuesday Edition: Thirteen Songs I Find Meaningful

OK, here's a list (in no particular order) of songs that, for one reason or another, I find particularly meaningful. I do realize that some of these are silly, some cheezy, and some have really do redeeming value whatsoever.

1. "Birdhouse in Your Soul"--They Might be Giants. OK, I LOVE this song, and if you call my cell phone right now, you'll hear it instead of a ring. TMBG are just so smart and funny and hip and wonderful, to my way of thinking. And they make me think of college and Scott and Cort and Doug and Joy and even Cory, in a bitter-sweet way. And here's a little known fact about me: I love to soak in a bubble bath and sing TMBG at the top of my lungs.

2. "Sunday Morning Coming Down"--written by Chris Kristofferson and preformed by Johnny Cash.

3. "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing"--this has always, always since childhood been one of my favorite hymns.

4. "Angel"--Aerosmith. This is quite possibly the cheeziest pop song ever written. And I recognize that musically it's pretty awful. But I love it anyway. I'm kinda embarrassed about how many Aerosmith lyrics I actually know!

5. "Both Sides Now"--Joni Mitchell. I've learned the hard way that one shouldn't listen to Joni Mitchell when depressed. But it seems so natural to do so.

6. "Just As I Am"--Another favorite hymn. Willie Nelson does a version on guitar that's wonderful. I really love Willie singing gospel. His "May the Circle be Unbroken" and "Where the Soul Never Dies" are just wonderful.

7. "God Only Knows"--The Beach Boys. According to my brother, this is one of Paul McCartney's favorite love songs. I have to confess that I think the Beach Boys are just loads of fun.

8. "Spirit in the Sky"--Norman Greenbaum. What's not to like. Seriously, when I go to meet my Maker, I want a wake with lots of beer and this song playing on a continuous loop.

9. "Standing Outside the Fire"--Garth Brooks. I have a theory that there's a Garth Brooks song for every occasion and every personality type.

10. "Fast as You"--Dwight Yokam.

11. "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring"--J.S. Bach.

12. "Countin' Flowers on the Wall"--The Statler Brothers.

13. "In My Life"--The Beatles. This may be my all-time favorite song ever. I just love it, always have.

OK, to keep it to 13, I had to cut some songs that I really love, like Jewel's "Jupiter" and a number of Tom Petty songs. I also cut Merle Haggard, which is kinda sad.

Exhaustion

I am exhausted, in most every sense of the word. I'm trying to eat lunch, because I know I need to eat, but nothing sounds good. I spent most of the morning grading papers on Shakespeare and Mary Shelley and all kinds of other things; most were mediocre, at best. I've been having "issues" with sleep for the past few weeks (not that that's anything new), and I think that sleep deprivation is certainly part of my problem. Anyway, when I get like this, I just feel icky, you know? It's like I feel tired and slightly achy physically. And intellectually, I feel this general ennui. And I can't seem to do much of anything, although I did get tons of grading done this morning. That counts for something, right? All I really want to do is to sit very, very still and watch really mindless TV or Law and Order. And I start to feel generally frustrated with my appearance and my life and my job and my accomplishments. I don't know--maybe it's just that it's the end of the semester and I have all this work to do when what I really need is a break. When I get like this, I tend to just focus on the negative, which of course isn't a good thing. I don't know--I'm going to stop now and either get actual work done or go home and try to relax.

Bleak House, Part II

I've now read about half of Dickens's Bleak House. And I'm enjoying it, but I'm also remembering why it is that I tend to avoid Dickens. First, it seems to me that Dickens is truly masterful in the way that he writes his characters. Some are flat; many are round; but they tend to be interesting, engaging kinds of characters. The problem I'm having, at the moment, is keeping them all straight. He'll introduce a character, develop her a bit, and then let her fall away. And this is fine; this happens with minor characters. Sometimes, they are there to advance the plot or the theme in some way, and when they've served their purpose, they leave the scene. But Dickens will pull them back in, like 150 pages later. In the intervening 150 pages he may have introduced like 15 more characters, and it's becoming really difficult for me to remember who's who and why he's important and that kind of thing. Am I really this inept as a reader? Dickens makes me doubt myself; I mean, I'm supposed to be qualified to professionally decipher texts, right? But with this novel, I keep losing track. The other thing about Bleak House is this: there's lots of characters who seem to be there to provide some sort of satire or social commentary. For example, early on we are introduced to Mrs. Jellyby, whose family is falling apart as she devotes all her time and energy to some sort of missionary project in Africa. She ruins her family financially; she totally neglects her children in just about every way possible; and her home is really dirty. She, of course, thinks she's really doing something wonderful, however, by devoting all her energy and resources to this project. OK, so I get the point that she's a hypocrite; I get that "charity begins in the home." But it's like we can't just have the example and move on; Dickens brings her (and even a whole cast of similar characters) up over and over and over. And it seems so very heavy handed after a while.

But the point is, as far as I'm concerned, I'm reading Dickens. I'm reading Bleak House. And really, in spite of the afore mentioned criticisms, I'm enjoying it immensely. So maybe this is like a new leaf for me as a reader--maybe I can enjoy the 19th century, triple decker novel. Or maybe this is just a fluke.

Update 1.1

Oh, and I've cut back on the so-called reality TV. This is a good thing.

Update 1.0

I just spoke with C. on the phone. She said something like, "I checked your blog over the weekend, but it didn't look like you had any new posts." So I decided that I really should post something, at least for the sake of keeping up with things. Here's a quick review of what's been going on with me. Fenway is about 4 1/2 months old, and he's growing so quickly. It's hard to believe. But he's cute and fun and I wouldn't trade him for anything. Over the weekend, I spent a lot of time doing nothing, which was lovely and perfect and just what I needed. I watched Across the Universe on Saturday night. A student had lent me her DVD of it. I liked it but didn't love it. In fact, there was some of it that just seemed to forced or contrived or something. When I mentioned some of this to said student, as I returned her DVD, she actually gave a really sophisticated, insightful analysis of why she thought it worked, and I was somehow so inspired and thankful that someone, some student of mine, is actually using her mind and thinking about the world and thinking about text as text and as a kind of cultural artifact, and that was really encouraging. (Ok, I realize that my sentence structure is annoying and even incorrect at some points above. One occupational hazard is that I think too much about my writing and why I'm saying what I'm saying in the way I'm saying it and so on. Recently, I realized *duh* that I go around all day, every day thinking about words--how they sound, what they mean, which I like, which I don't. I'm word obsessed!)

Also, I have stared some fun BBC series on DVD. I've been watching Hetty Wainthrop Investigates, which stars the woman who plays Hyacinth in Keeping Up Appearances. It's loads of fun. I really, really love murder mysteries, especially British ones. And the Hetty Wainthrop series isn't great in terms of the mysteries themselves, but the characters are loads of fun, and that's what I enjoy about detective fiction anyway. I've also started, from the beginning, The Midsomer Murders. That's great too. The mysteries are a bit more complex, but Inspector Barnaby is a great character--he's no Dagleish or even an Inspector Lynley, but he's still interesting. The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that the murder mystery, more than any other popular genre, really speaks to what defines human nature, what it means to live in this world. And that's exciting, somehow.

Oh, and I'm still working through Bleak House. I'm reading it in part because it seems like something I should do at least once in my life, but also in part because scholars and the like say that it contributes to the development of detective fiction as a genre. And that's clearly interesting to me. This is something that I think I want to pursue academically. One of my many and varied academic interests is in "medievalism," that is the ways that later eras recycle medieval themes, motifs, and the like. And I'm especially interested in the ways that medievalism plays into issues surrounding cultural identity and the like. Anyway, my tentative hypothesis is this: the character of the detective is a sort of reincarnation of the Arthurian knight. This is pretty interesting, I think. And it's something that I want to pursue and at least work on some sort of conference paper on. I also think (and this is connected to the above) that there is something about Christianity that allows for the detective character, but I'm still working this out. I'd argue that at the very least the sort of Christian ethos that informs the Arthurian knight is also at work in the serial detective novel. And really, detective novels do tend to be serial--this seems to mirror in some ways the episodic nature of the medieval romance. OK, if I've thoroughly bored you, that's OK. But this is just something that, at the moment, is super exciting to me.

So that's what's been going on with me.

Thursday Thirteen: Thirteen Reasons That I Love Tea

More and more, I'm convinced that tea is, indeed, a way of life. Or at least, it's become a metaphor for how I want to think about life. And so, in honor of my morning "cuppa" I offer this list of reasons that I love tea. Maybe it would be more accurate to say that it's a list devoted to what I love about tea and what it's come to represent.





One: Tea gives me something to do during awkward silences. This is especially useful while teaching. There's always that rather awkward lag time between when I ask some leading or maybe obvious question (always eloquently worded) and the time that some brave soul will venture an answer. To fill this time, I tend to take a sip of tea, usually from my fun, pink travel mug!

Two: In those period pieces produced by the BBC, you know things like Upstairs, Downstairs, when there's any sort of distress, the immediate response is to give someone either brandy (ick!) or a cup of tea. I'm not sure why tea is the universal band-aid for the hemorrhaging soul, but I'm willing to accept that it is.

Three: Apparently, our bodies metabolize the caffeine in tea more rapidly than that in coffee. This means that we get the zippy effect more quickly, but it also moves out of our system more quickly. Can we say then, that tea has a shorter half life than does coffee? Either way, I figure tea's OK before bed, but coffee may not be.

Four: One can (and sometimes one does) create a routine that revolves around tea. For example, for a while I was on this schedule where I had black tea in the morning, green tea in the afternoon, and white tea in the evening. This gives both structure and meaning to one's day.

Five: Tea always gives one something to look forward to. No matter how dreary the day becomes, one thinks, "Well, at least when I get home I can have a cup of tea."

Six: Tea makes life easier by providing the ideal gift for almost any occasion.

Seven: Tea can be an opportunity for social interaction. You can certainly meet a friend for a cup of coffee, but isn't meeting for a cup of tea far more interesting.

Eight: Tea allows one to participate in the illusion that British culture is somehow superior to American culture.

Nine: Tea leads to e-mails that contain ideas like this: "Did i tell you about that article/blurb in wired mag. that said that we yanks were drinking caffeine all wrong. it said that studies showed constant low doses paired with carbs--as in tea and scones was the most effective. yippee and yumm!" Seriously, isn't that great? I mean, in this case, tea in addition to providing meaning to life becomes a conversation piece.

Ten: Tea is a good justification for various collections: tea cups, tea pots, tea itself. All these are valuable collectibles.

Eleven: How could we have Victorian society without tea? Seriously. Would Dickens ever have had anything to write about had the English not become tea drinkers? Isn't tea a big reason that the British Empire develops in the first place?

Twelve: Everyone drinks coffee these days. Preferring tea allows one the illusion of having a cool, counterculture persona. Some of us thrive on that.

And Thirteen: Tea is simply comforting. Simply holding the hot mug provides physical comfort.

And Today's Rant. . .

Ok, consider yourself warned. This post is going to be a rant. I just get so frustrated when people don't follow directions. It drives me crazy. And I know that it shouldn't get to me, but it does. And it really kills me when said directions are given in writing, possibly in, say, the form of an assignment sheet. I just don't get it. And it makes me crazy. I mean, how hard is it to, say, include a "Works Cited" page with an essay? Or to simply understand that no make up quizzes really does mean no make up quizzes. I'm so fed up! Maybe I just need a more constructive outlet for all this pent up frustration. You'll notice that I'm not going in to any specifics: of course, I wouldn't want to violate any sort of implied confidentiality or to do anything unethical. I meant that seriously. But I'm tired of it. And I'm tired of working really hard and feeling unappreciated. Lately, I just feel like I'm not very important to anyone and that I do have some good qualities but that these are largely going unrecognized. I know--I'm now descending into self-pity, and last night I promised myself that I'd try to stay away from self-pity, partly on the principle that, hey, my situation isn't as difficult as some people's is. But it gets draining to feel like I work and work and give and give and go out of my way for people, mostly students, and then to feel like they don't care. I guess I know that it's important to do the right thing because it's right and not expecting praise and appreciate and all that. But it gets exahusting some days. And I think that we all want to feel appreciated and wanted and all that. Ok, I'll stop now.

More Fenway Photos

Here Is A New Pic of My Handsome Boy

Passions

This is one of the best decisions I've made in recent memory: I've started watching the soap opera Passions. It used to be aired on one of the networks, NBC I think. But was canceled a year or so ago. Fortunately for me, it's now being run on the DirecTV channel 101 a couple of days a week. Unfortunately for me, it's apparently being cut from even DirecTV later this year. But it's great! I've never been all that big on soap operas, although I did go through a Guiding Light phase not that long ago. But all the weird things about soap operas--the weird pacing, the mixed-up relationships, the melodrama--Passions kicks up a level that becomes camp but also a kind of spoof of the soap opera, it seems to me. And I'm so disappointed that just as I'm getting interested, I find out that the last episode is scheduled to air in August. BTW, Wikipedia has an interesting article on the program. OK, so this is how I got started, I was flipping through on the TV, and I stopped on a scene in a room at a hospital. The doctor is telling Pretty that she's pregnant. The father of Pretty's baby is Luis who is engaged to Pretty's sister, Fancy. (Later, I learned that Pretty is faking the pregnancy.) Anyway, Fancy and Luis are in the room with Pretty and the doctor. And Fancy asks the doctor something like, "So are you permanently back on staff?" And the doctor explains, "No, they only called me in to reattach Julian's penis." And really, any production that asks an actor to deliver that line with a straight face is my kind of production. It turns out that Julian's penis has been reattached upside down / backwards because the doctor was drugged by her son, the nurse, before the procedure. So who thinks up this stuff? When I watch soap operas, which I admit isn't too often, it always seems that there's not much thought given to a plot arch or a character arch. It just always feels like the writers write themselves into some ridiculous, melodramatic situation and then write their way out without much long term planning while writing in a little more drama along the way. I'm always kind of mesmerized by this approach. I really, really wish it were available on DVD so that I could start from the beginning.

Bleak House

100 pages down, 899 to go! I have decided that I should at least attempt to read Dickens's Bleak House, in spite of my normal tendency to avoid Dickens. I mean, doesn't it seem like the kind of thing an English teacher should do at least once in her life? So I started in on Tuesday evening. And I've read the first 100 pages, and so far, I actually think it's pretty interesting. And I have to say that I'm predisposed to assume that Dickens is unnecessarily wordy, but that just isn't how it feels, at least no so far. And if I decide that I'm just not that into it, I think it's totally fine if I don't finish it. But when I do finish (or not finish), I think it would be fun to watch various adaptations. I've heard that the recent one with Gillian Anderson isn't all that great. Maybe it depends on what one thinks of Gillian Anderson; this is the second time I've mentioned her this week--maybe I'm having X-Files nostalgia. Come to think of it, the first episode of the X-Files that I saw was about spontanious combustion--so really, it seems that there are more connections between the X-Files and Bleak House than one would have thought. On a more serious note, I'm reading Bleak House in part because I'm interested in the evolution of the detective novel, and apparently Bleak House is somehow influential. I'm not sure how, but I guess I can research that later. But now my point is that I'm actually really enjoying Dickens! I suspected that, apart from A Christmas Carol, this day would never come.

Under Construction

Just a quick note: this site is under construction. I've always wanted to type that. Seriously, I'm making some changes to the layout of my blog. I hope it's not too annoying. Really, I think that the current, three-column layout is pretty snazzy.

Paradise Hotel

OK, I have a confession: I've been watching season two of Paradise Hotel. Most of you have probably not heard of Paradise Hotel; if you haven't, it's probably a good sign. This has to be one of the trashiest reality programs that I've ever seen. It runs on the Fox Reality Network (channel 250 for those of you who have direct TV) at 1:00am on Monday night / Tuesday morning. I think it repeats at other times as well. But I figure that the 1:00 am (that's EST) time slot tells us something about the quality of the programming. Oh, it opens with a disclaimer that's something along these lines: "This program may contain some nudity and / or sexual situations. Viewer discretion is advised." I always figure that saying, "Viewer discretion is advised" is really a way of trying to attract a certain demographic, i.e. 17 years olds. Oh, and me. I watch it too.

The premise is something like this: a dozen or so 20-somethings are isolated at the Paradise Hotel, a kind of tropical resort. They choose "room mates" of the opposite sex. There's always one extra man or woman, and the person without a room mate is eliminated. A day or two later, a new single enters the mix.

All that said, I'm really not trying to post a review or analysis of this really terrible program. Rather, I'm interested in considering why I watch it in the first place. And I am not up and about at 1:00am; I DVR the thing, so clearly, I'm going out of my way to watch it. In general, I think that many of us, myself included, like so-called reality TV and programs like Dr. Phil because these types of programs somehow make us feel better about ourselves. I think, for me anyway, it goes something like this: "Hey, *insert name* on Paradise Hotel is a real skank. And she's dumb. I can't believe that she doesn't have more self-respect than that. What a skanky loser!" On the one hand, this is clearly a variation on the old trick of putting others down so that we can feel better about ourselves. However, I think it goes beyond this. For me anyway, it's also about realizing that maybe my situation isn't as bad or overwhelming or hopeless or whatever as it sometimes feels. I was watching Dr. Phil earlier today, and it was more like this: "Yeah, sometimes I feel bad about myself, and sometimes I feel like a failure. And yeah, I do mess things up sometimes. But I should be thankful: my situation isn't as difficult or as painful as that of the recovering Heroin addict." I don't think this is making myself feel better at someone else's expense; rather I see it as simply acknowledging and being thankful for the obstacles that I'm not facing right now. It's a way of realizing that life could be a whole lot worse.

I don't know. I readily admit that I actually enjoy watching "reality" TV that I acknowledge to be not just dumb but objectionable. But somehow, it's like I can't stop looking, like the trainwreck cliche. But it goes beyond that. And I'm having a hard time really figuring out what the attraction is. Even worse than Paradise Hotel, IMO, is The Girls Next Door, which is actually about Hugh Heffner's three live-in girlfriends. I'll spare you any further discussion of Hef and the girls. But it's so terrible on just about every conceivable level. I certainly don't DVR it, but I have to confess to tuning in on occasion.

A Recommitment to Blogging

Ok, I've decided that blogging is a good thing--it's good for me. And unlike most good-for-you things, it's not unpleasant. So I'm here and now making a formal recommitment to blogging. Here are some possible topics that I could pursue in the near future. I welcome any feedback or preferences, if any of these sound more fun than any others.

1. A review of the Sweet Valley High series of books. I really, really loved SVH when I was about 12, and recently I bought a ton of them for cheap on eBay. So if anyone's interested, I'd be happy to contribute my thoughts about SVH.

2. A review / analysis / thoughts about the British murder mysteries I've been consuming and the BBC / PBS adaptations of said mysteries. This is my new pet project.

3. A discussion of the new direction of the program formerly known as Masterpiece Theatre. It's just Masterpiece now. And they've recently run adaptations of Jane Austen, a perennial favourite. Gillian Anderson is the new host, btw.

4. Updates on my dogs, especially Baby Fenway. He couldn't be any cuter. Of course, Fenway related posts could be written in the first person, in Fenway's own voice. I'm happy to turn the laptop over to him.

5. Food

6. DVDs

I think that pretty much covers my options, at least as I see them now.

Oh, here we go

7 and 8. Reviews / discussion of the Little House on the Prairie TV series or of 7th Heaven, both of which run daily on the Hallmark channel. 7th Heaven is particularly cheezy but intriguing at the same time.

Feel free to comment or to simply take the poll at the left. I do realize that the poll isn't displaying very nicely--oh well!